Confidence

So today, I want to talk about Confidence. There is a school of thought that you should ‘fake it till you make it’. I am not a fan of this way of thinking, partly because I don’t think it really works. People are not stupid; they can tell when your words and actions aren’t authentic… and in a social-media-dominated world full of self-promotion, personal branding and everyday narcissism, having authenticity and integrity is such a beautiful and rare trait. You don’t want to throw that away.

The two ways to develop confidence.

1. Becoming Great at the thing you want to feel confident about. Let’s take how your body looks & feels as an example. If you want to feel great about your body and you are 20kg overweight, then dropping the excess weight and getting in shape will make you feel more body confident and probably more confident in your social life, sex life, and working life too.

Now, do you have to go through a body transformation program to feel great about yourself?. No, you don’t… but it takes a very enlightened soul to truly feel in love with their body when they overfeed and under move it. Regardless of the excessive societal pressure, loving your body and having a great relationship with your body requires you to show it love.

If that example hits a raw nerve, let’s use Tango as an example. If I want to feel confident as a Tango Dancer, then rather than convincing myself that I deserve to feel confident as a Tango dancer, isn’t it easier just to take a load of Tango lessons? Remember, your level of confidence is just another way of saying your level of certainty that you will be able to do any particular task.

2. Dance with Failure. Another way of improving confidence is by caring far less about when things go wrong. From sparring, to rock climbing to dating, when you care less about the outcome and focus on being present and  ‘in the moment’, then the experience is more interesting and ironically, you tend to get more success.  I promise you, this is so freeing for the Ego and will also help you get out of your comfort zone and stay humble.

Arragance & Bravado

These are often confused with confidence as, on the surface, they can look very similar. Please don’t be fooled! Real confidence is not fragile, nor does it need to be shouted loudly so you can feel superior. True confidence transcends the Ego and has as much to do with humility as it does ability.