Day 19 – Take Risks
So that is me jumping into the lagoon over in Ilha Grande – a funky little Brazilian island. Back when I lived in Rio, aged 30-ish. We would go there at least once a month, trek around, dive off cliffs, explore waterfalls and drink too many Caipirinha’s. It’s one of my favourite islands; you should really go there one day.
Today’s lesson is the most important one if you want to create a life that feels like an adventure. If you want exciting, wild, weird and beautiful things to happen in your life – and you want to be an interesting person to hang out with, then I believe you need to cultivate a risk-taking habit.
When I say risk, I mean putting yourself in challenging ‘out-there’ situations. Be it doing a solo trek in the Himalayas, exhibiting a painting, setting up a new business, changing careers, self-publishing a book of poetry, doing karaoke sober, asking someone out (as in properly, not via some app), cycling to Istambul, setting up a band, doing a Cage Fight, writing a screenplay, buying a one-way ticket to Lima, train for a ballroom dancing comp, moving countries with work, starting a family, establishing a charity, giving a TED talk or running an ultra-marathon… the list is endless!
Whatever it may be, when you take REGULAR risks and develop a habit of putting yourself ‘out there’, you send the right message to the universe. It is in these moments when you are the most creative, when your focus, your magic and your passion for life are unleashed. By taking risks, will you fail more? Yes.. but that’s how we grow.
Life is very short… the biggest risk we can all take is to play it safe. I think the biggest regret in life would be to look back at it when our time is up and reflect on what we didn’t do! Living a ‘would of’, ‘could of’, ‘should of’ kinda existence sucks and that, my friend, scares the hell out of me, and it should scare you too.
Talking from experience
Aged 19, I did my first truly bold and risky action as an adult and went to America by myself for five months. I got a sports coaching job in New York. Upon finishing the contract, I spent several weeks “kerouacing-it” by greyhounding across America with Gordo and Bav, two new friends I made in NYC. I ended up living as a surfer beach bum in Oahu and Kauai (Hawaiian islands) for eight weeks with my crazy friend Otto (a true hippy in the most authentic way). The whole experience was more than just fun; to paraphrase Marcel Proust, it gave me new eyes.
I was a very confident person already, but that at one little adventure gave me an injection of boldness to do a bigger challenge: So, aged 20, I bought a one-way ticket to Lima. I arrived in Peru with dangerously little funds, no hablo Espanol, zero contacts, and no backup plan. Was it scary?.. Hell yeah…(remember this is a time before social media, before mobiles, before internet access) I was a kid.. of course, it was! But that was the point, and that was the ‘risk’. Four months later, when I flew back to the UK from Brazil, I returned having travelled all over South America with new experiences, so many stories, a better understanding of myself and Latin American culture, I had new friends, crazy levels of self-confidence and an enormous appetite for pushing myself out of my comfort zone.
Within a few months, I was solo travelling again – this time all around India. I arrived in Madras with a tiny day pack and $500 cash strapped around my ankle- again, no phone, no bank cards. That trip was wild. A few weeks later (after returning to campus and my incredibly neglected university life!) I took a friend with kindred spirit hitchhiking around France. We took nothing with us! I mean, not even our wallets – just for a laugh really… and as a little test to see how we’d cope! from sleeping in a public toilet off a Parisian motorway one night to getting drinks bought by students in La Rochelle… when you have zero money and no contacts you have to be extrovert and creative to make things happen. Self-confidence really makes the world feel like your playground.
I began to understand how life was more fulfilling when I was bold, took risks and committed to new experiences.
I have since taken much bigger ‘risks’ by actually living in many different countries (thus starting my career and social life from scratch multiple times). I have also taken time off work many times (which at the time felt risky!) to study – which leads me nicely to another point i wish to make:
How to learn – Part 1
I will discuss the art of learning in a future lesson, but FYI… academically, I have 27 different qualifications in fitness & well-being, a degree in Business and an (incomplete!) Masters Degree in Philosophy, but studying books and doing tests aren’t enough.. You have to live things to learn. I’m a massive fan of immersion. From living with monks in a monastery, sparring with fighters in fight camps, and spending weeks alone in contemplation trekking mountains, I have found that to truly know things, you really have to temporarily obsess about it and commit with all your energy.
In addition, as you’d expect from a coach, I believe in the power of 1-2-1 coaching. I love learning from experts, so whenever I encounter a good teacher, I try to work with them regardless of what they teach – be it rock climbing, skiing, gymnastics, ballet, massage, kung fu, singing, acting… I’ve had l-2-1 lessons in most things. My life has been truly enriched by embracing being a beginner at stuff and listening to experts… and so will yours.
The definition of ‘adventure’ changes as we age
Nowadays, I get my biggest kicks from teaching my clients, growing my business and hanging out with Lulu (my Wife)… I see these as my biggest adventures. My social life has taken a back seat, and so have my partying antics. Our definition of adventure will always change with age, and that’s a good thing. My point is that being curious and seeking adventure, and doing things which others may seem weird or risky is a really fun and really sensible way to approach life regardless of your goals.
We live in a time where fame and money are very highly valued. I personally DO NOT value these things, so if that’s how you gauge success, my advice may not be relevant. But suppose you want to have an ‘adventurous’ life; in that case, I’m a pretty good example of an ordinary person who has done a lot of cool shit, seen the world and curated an exciting career.
So maybe if this resonates, it’s time to be less sensible, be bold, take risks, fail more, pivot, learn, grow and treat life as one big adventure.